red rose

For Sistas Only: How to Love Yourself on Valentine’s Day

lady with red roseIt’s February 14th once again, and starry-eyed lovers are walking around with smiles plastered on their faces, flowers, balloons and chocolates are spilling out from everywhere, and all the women are clad in red or pink.

As I scroll down my social media feeds, I can’t help but notice how many women, especially queens, are posting quotes about being heartbroken, used, lead on, or taken for granted, and it’s painful to watch.

What bothers me the most about it is that many of these queens are women I know; former classmates, fellow church congregation members, and even relatives and friends, and they are all in their unique way, beautiful, accomplished black women, yet here they are, sulking on Valentine’s Day, largely because some clown made them feel like they weren’t enough, or because, particularly on this day, singleness feels like falling into a bottomless black hole.

Well, that’s why I’m here: to get you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that the only person who can love you the way you want be loved, other than God himself, is you. Today, I want to encourage queens to start a new tradition on Valentine’s Day; a tradition of taking this day to love yourself, so that February 14th, whether it finds you single or coupled up, will never be a dreaded day again. Here’s how to love yourself today and beyond.

Stop Looking At What Everyone Else Has Going On


So you’re single and all your taken friends are posting their teddy bears and chocolates and roses and jewelry left and right on Facebook and Instagram. A part of you wants to be happy for them, but you can’t help but feel at the same time that seeing such posts is a harsh reminder that you’re flying solo at the moment. If it bothers you that much, don’t look at it. I recommend you stay off your social media accounts until tomorrow. Why look at it if it depresses you?

Now Would Be a Great Time to Remember Your Flyness


You are no less beautiful and royal today than you are on any other day, and you don’t need flowers and candy from some dude (who probably only wants to get in your head to get in your bed) to remind you of that. If a few persistent male pursuers want to gift you with Valentine’s Day goodies, graciously accept, but don’t place your value on whether or not you receive such things. In fact, go out or go online, find something you like, and purchase it yourself, just because.

Resist the Urge…

why don't you love me

…to call up an ex who mistreated you, or the one that got away. As lonesome as you may feel today, understand that you’ll feel ten times worse tomorrow if you reach out to someone you really ought to stay away from.

Make an Impromptu Date With Your Single Girlfriends/Relatives

getting ready

This would be the perfect night to gussy up and get out, maybe have a few drinks with your girlfriends. There are many spots that offer single-women-themed activities specifically for Valentine’s Day, so go celebrate your royalty. šŸ˜‰

By: Danielle Dixon

Follow her on Twitter: @tooprettydani

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